Of all the things I do the most challenging has to be hands down momming, well with exception of keeping my house clean (especially dishes.) I find them to go hand in hand. I always wanted to work for myself, to work so hard at something it questions my sanity. I can say I had found that, although it was not what I had in mind.
I try to explain to my non-mom friends the new dimension of life that opens up when you have a little human that depends on you. Especially with baby numero uno, the flood of fear, emotion and possible germs that I felt it was my duty to protect from my baby was intense. With all of the books that you can read to prepare you on motherhood nothing comes close to actual act of momming. What do you mean there is no instruction booklet when you leave the hospital with your live human doll???? Which parenting book do I reference for when she is projectile vomiting after eating???? Why is she not sleeping???? When everyone and their mothers (and their mothers) are giving you advise it overloads your soul. I quickly learned to take all this information as suggestions rather than guidelines, trust my intuition and to go with the flow.
Because I was a SAHM I thought my goal was to be that perfect parent. To give my every ounce of energy towards raising my daughter. It was bliss for a while but needless to say, trying to be a perfect parent was something that did end up questioning my sanity so much I had to add “IN” in-front of sanity.
Truth be told, there is no such thing as a perfect parent. We are all going to screw up, make mistakes, try new approaches till we all find something that works for our unique families. Ever heard of “second baby syndrome” the super realistic approach when you have your second child and you automatically become the Honey-badger who don’t give a sh*t? Yeah – that’s me. I’m not saying my children are ever in danger or I could ever possibly love them less. We still hold hands and look both ways when crossing the street, we still teach them stranger danger – the whole nine yards. We just relax a little when the binky drops on the floor and don’t have to steam it (a good suck in my mouth suffices) or when you forget your shopping cart cover and they actually have to touch the plastic. Goldfish crackers on the couch (right out of the bag) while playing on the iPad? Yup that’s my son right now. Ive learned to pick my imaginary battles with myself and you know what…. I’m much happier, My kids are much happier, my life is much happier. I’m able to take care of myself a bit more and everyone in my family benefits when I start with me first. A happy mommy trickles down to a happy family. I have learned to balance over the last 8 years and when I work on myself, the whole family gets better.
I have returned to somewhat sane even though sometimes some things I or my kids do sparks my insanity (like taking the house phone on my errands.) I’m better at assessing the whole and realize that sometimes the insanity is comically beautiful.
After publishing this post this Honey Badger mom needs to do her dishes. Right now I’m having to balance giving a sh*t about clean plates. 🙂
I hope you all live your Life In The Beauty Lane.