It had to be at least a year ago a neighbor and good friend of mine (shout out to you Irene) invited me to her 80’s themed birthday party. Struggling to find myself after 2 kids and jibberish convos with my 2 year old I was trying to really find myself among the chaos of parenthood/lifehood/adulthood of the outside world. There really is something wacky with the brain, thinking my only role in life was to protect these beautiful children with my soul, and in doing so, lost myself somewhere between Bubble Guppies and Wallykazam. Realizing something had to break I was trying to find……. me, the real me. I had long gone tucked her away and presented a chameleon of myself to the world. Momming so hard you couldn’t get by me a non organic juice or a fruit snack with Red 40 in it. It.Was.Exhausting. Doing everything for everyone else I spiraled into a deep depression and thought WHAT DID IT ALL MEAN! How did other moms do it! As they as insane as me?
It took a few months, alot of soul searching and a mild antidepressant to find myself again. Ive always been a bit eccentric deep down. A few tattoos here a few piercings there, always in places no one would know (except for my then boyfriend who is now husband hehe.) I thought it was against cultural norm or at least the culture I was brought up in. I never felt safe to let my freak flag fly. I always worried about how other people would judge me or think what a horrible selfish person I must be. Being a mom made it all the more difficult for my eccentric side to peak out from the curtains. Mom-shaming is a real thing (and for a blog entry another time.)
It took some cojones, soul searching and loving myself to start being me and it started with dying my long blond hair hot pink and not giving a damn. Another friend pointed out to me I lack in delayed gratification and when something gets in my head its 1000% or nothing. I said F#@K IT. In that instant I stopped caring what other people thought of me. Pink was never my favorite color but it was a color (at the time) that was not at all popular with main stream but knew it was for me. Not even a distress call or a look at me, look at me kinda thing. It just felt good to have my inner personality be represented on the exterior. To be different, I felt different. I refused to be just another mom-zom (mom zombie) and morphed into this beautiful butterfly I knew I could be whether Jo-schmo liked it or not. If you are a psychiatrist I’m sure your reading this and thinking I was lacking self confidence, though you may not be far off it was so much more than just confidence that sprung me into this phase of my life. It was taking all the cultural and standardize American way of living and giving it the big up yours! I found (for now) the perfect balance for me, my children and my family.
Now that I have served you a slice of my background I invite you to indulge on my wacky, crazy, zany life of introducing you to my true self. An artist at heart (and a love from childhood) my mixing medium is face paint i.e makeup. I love the ways you can express yourself on the exterior and/or to play dress-up for the day. This is where Irene comes in. This was the first party I had been invited to since moving to the area. It was super recent when I finally went all pink and did not care what the other moms thought. (I’m positive some of them still think I’m bat shit cray cray.) With my schooling, love of make-up and some 80’s inspired clothes I went gun-ho into a glam cross between Jem and Madonna. Hoping others would commit to an 80’s theme I was glad to find others in their 80’s attire. If I can find a picture, I will re-edit this post to include it.
Now that Halloween time is upon us what better way to pay homage to the first time letting my freak flag fly than an 80’s glam YouTube tutorial. I hope you enjoy watching as much as I enjoy playing adult dress-up.
The lesson of all this to myself……. Go with my gut, don’t be afraid and another episode of Wallykazam ain’t going to hurt anyone!
For all products used visit the description box on my YouTube Channel: Life In The Beauty Lane.